reflections on spring
As the thick heat of a New York summer approaches, I am looking back on moments of spring. Moments of joy and community. Words and smells that expanded my soul a little. I’ve always preferred summer and fall to spring, but this spring (a much needed time of defrosting from a hard winter) made me see the season in a new light. Of course it’s a classic time of renewal, but I didn’t know how badly I needed it until it came.
The special moments
As the temperature increased, so did making memories with my dearest humans.
Life Day Cafe
To honor my twenty-four years as a wheelchair user, I invited some of my best friends to my apartment so I could live out my barista dreams. We mused about astrology and aging while sipping on homemade matcha and chai lattes. My Life Day, the day I became disabled, has become an essential day to plan something with people I love. It is a day of both heaviness and grief and also transformation. It is not lost on me that a day I view as my rebirth occurs in the spring.
Keynote
So, I gave a thirty minute speech about my life to a room of four hundred trauma doctors and nurses. I was initially hesitant about presenting such intimate details of my story on a stage. But my sister, a nurse herself, convinced me that it could be important. She said trauma doctors and nurses rarely know what kind of lives their patients go on to live. I’m glad I did because sharing that moment, glancing over at her in the crowd during the more emotional parts of the speech, was really meaningful.
Upstate Anni
Ever since our first trip together as a couple, I realized how much I prefer staying in an accessible space, even if my husband can help me navigate an inaccessible one. While we love to explore forests and castles, coming home to a space I can traverse completely on my own feels like an important balance. For our two year wedding anniversary, we stayed at Scribner’s Catskill Lodge in an accessible cabin. Being surrounded by lush green trees and wild flowers was an exhale my body needed.
What I smelled like
My most practiced daily ritual is taking a moment with my perfume to say what I am grateful for and what I am calling into my life while I spritz away.
Matcha
Blending green tea, florals, and amber, Le Monde Gourmand’s “The Matcha” was a Life Day gift from my husband. Light and bright and perfect for spring.
Cà Phê Sữa Đá
Somehow my two favorite perfumes of the season were both embodiments of my favorite beverages. d’Annam’s “Vietnamese Coffee” features notes of roasted coffee, dark chocolate, sweet amber, and a hint of condensed milk.
What I watched
Normal People
This show, based on the book by Sally Rooney, cracked me open. It is as much a story about finding yourself as it is about loving another person through life’s peaks and valleys. When a friend asked who I related to more, I immediately responded “Marianne.”
Nine Perfect Strangers (Season One)
Also based on a book, I devoured this in a few days. Each character (and actor’s performance) was so captivating. A wild wellness retreat that took me on a funny, emotional, weird, beautiful ride.
What I read (on Substack)
sunday is the woman I want to be- milk and cookies
Really everything Ayushi writes touches me but this really captured something I’ve felt as I enter my thirties. My twenty something self wanted to do and be everything. My thirty something self wants to be “a woman who eats strawberries out of the carton and forgets to take a picture” and who trusts “that maybe it’s okay if you’re not on fire all the time.”
how to pay attention again (the neuroscience of focus in the age of everything)-mindbox
Our attention is being pulled in a million different directions almost every second we are on our phones. And I often wonder what that is doing to my brain. Because so much of my job lies within my phone, I really liked the section “How to rebuild attention, gently and sustainably” and the reminder that “attention is a skill, and skills can be retrained.”
For a lot of my twenties, I didn’t take the time to reflect on my accomplishments, the small moments of joy, the big life shifts. I just existed in the mode of “go.” Now, it feels important to take more notes. Literally and figuratively. Not in the overthinking, overanalyzing sense. More so that noticing the good in every season feels crucial to my wellbeing.